coolkiddave:

serious interspecies intimate romance you say
i can handle that
 ii diid 2ay that diidnt ii?

coolkiddave:

serious interspecies intimate romance you say

i can handle that

ii diid 2ay that diidnt ii?

(Source: zealliart)

coolkiddave:

im glad you agree that human emotions are a real thing but theres much more than just that friendship shit

like hunger

i could so go for a rib eye steak right now i feel that hunger feeling is taking over and clearly it is affecting me in a plethora of ways

youre the one in the emotion constraints yo like playing four square with whatever you guys use to feel what did you call it a ‘mustard pumper’? 

dang that must be so much pity you feel for me kinda like that sarah mclachlan animal cruelty video that shows up on my tv sometimes shit makes me tear up cuz i begin to feel what you are obviously feeling now

sorry man i didnt know i was so dear to you

you human2 2eem two tear at the 2iimple2t thiing2. what next 2omebody eat all of your grape jelly?

2eriiou2ly tiinkerbull2 cry le22 than your race.

2iince ii obviiou2ly feel 2o 2trongly about you and iim not even cryiing how doe2 that make you look?

triick que2tiion iit doe2nt make you look any diifferent human2 alway2 look terriible.

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney:

oh no your obviiou2 2arca2tiic human language2 iin my diirectiion tug2 on the 2triing2 of my deliiciiou2 honey mu2tard blood pumper two feel piity at your 2tupiid theatriic2.

all thii2 piity for you iit2 2o real and a thiing.

out of piity iill call the human mediical faciiliitiie2 you ju2t waiit there iin paiin and ii wiill hone2tly and truthfully do thii2.

iif you dont make iit though con2iider thii2 a confe22iion for all tho2e feeliing2 you want me two have for you.

wow that cat is out of the bag and that frisky feline spilled some beans on the way out

ever since the day i was born i had this lust for you that knew no bounds i tried to keep it a secret but somehow you figured it out

i just wanted these feelings to be reciprocated

in no way is any of this stuff im saying sarcastic or anything less of sincere cuz im obviously the most honest guy there is

oh and i can feel the pity radiating from your house ill bask in it like a lizard in sunlight and let it soak into my skin

2hee2h ii am ju2t overwhelmed wiith all of the2e human emotiion2 from my blood pumper.

friiend2hiip, a22hole, and 2arca2m. that2 all three human2 can do.

you have a liimiited range for emotiion and that2 why you are the iinferiior 2peciie2.

your obviiou2 dii2play of affectiion by threateniing two make your2elf vulnerable near my communal hiive 2tem ii2 2tiirriing up all kiind2 of piity for you.

liike a human piitiie2 a legle22, half dead, earth caniine that ha2 giiant deformed eye2 wiith two much moii2ture on them.

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney:

ii made tho2e 2iim2 for you. iit came two my attentiion that you were iincapable of gettiing a human mate2priit and then made you 2omethiing two help heal your lonely lonely heart wiith fake human iinteractiion.

the only kiind of iinteractiion you could hope two get.

ii a22ume that everybody could have 2urviived the poii2on but they choo2e not two 2o they dont have two be around you anymore. people diie two avoiid you 2triider ii2 what iim 2ayiing here

thats pretty deep i could dig straight down right to china and it would be even deeper than that

i appreciate your concern for my love life but the time you spent creating those programs has been foolishly wasted 

instead of trying to portray your feelings through that weird shit you couldve just said it theres nothing to hide

this realization from your word vomit was a punch to the gut i am currently writhing in pain on the floor you may have to wait a moment before a proper response can be written

oh no your obviiou2 2arca2tiic human language2 iin my diirectiion tug2 on the 2triing2 of my deliiciiou2 honey mu2tard blood pumper two feel piity at your 2tupiid theatriic2.

all thii2 piity for you iit2 2o real and a thiing.

out of piity iill call the human mediical faciiliitiie2 you ju2t waiit there iin paiin and ii wiill hone2tly and truthfully do thii2.

iif you dont make iit though con2iider thii2 a confe22iion for all tho2e feeliing2 you want me two have for you.

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney:

coolkiddave:

you hit the nail right on the head when it comes to me and my photography complex it just rustles my jimmies in all the right ways

i thought youd never say yes to the field skipping now the excitement is seeping out my pores

good thing im not allergic to anything or else id miss some quality time with my favorite troll

dang i thought i was pretty special you sure did prove me wrong right there 

i thought youd use that great cranium of yours to develop a never before seen virus just for me that would blow my mind but i guess your coding skills arent up to par with what I thought what a shame

what ii2 iit wiith everybody and theiir extremely 2weaty pore2 ii2 thii2 2ome kiind of new trend or 2omethiing.

maybe your dii2gu2tiing human leakiing wiill miix wiith all the vegetatiion were joviially jauntiing through and create 2ome deadly poii2on that hopefully wiill wiipe everybody out 2o they wont have two put up wiith you anymore

my codiing 2kiill2 are beyond par. 2o gone from par that theyve ciircled around the planet and have hiit par twiice. double par. ii am the be2t there ii2 at code2.

iive wriitten all the code2. all of them.

[[LOL THE DOUBLE PAR THING JUST KILLED ME ALSKDGHA;]]

yeah of course and not trying to brag or anything but im totally the one who started the trend i do it first and everyone just wants to be like me

just sayin

wait woah are you saying the poison would kill everyone but you what are you suggesting here is there some secret meaning i am looking over or am i just delving in this deeper than anticipated

if youve written every single code are you also implying that you created those strange japanese sim dating programs

jesus dude those games are pretty messed up do you need someone to talk about some personal issues 

ii made tho2e 2iim2 for you. iit came two my attentiion that you were iincapable of gettiing a human mate2priit and then made you 2omethiing two help heal your lonely lonely heart wiith fake human iinteractiion.

the only kiind of iinteractiion you could hope two get.

ii a22ume that everybody could have 2urviived the poii2on but they choo2e not two 2o they dont have two be around you anymore. people diie two avoiid you 2triider ii2 what iim 2ayiing here

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney:

coolkiddave:

[[haha! yeah this is really amusing. I really like the sarcasm going on, because it makes me laugh xDD ]]

thanks you should send it over cuz im planning to print this life size and hang it on my wall to forever remember this monumental occurrence

every day ill look over at it and be like damn who is that handsome fellow

oh wait its me

i know you want a copy ill make you one also itll be sure to spice up your life

sorry im fresh out of non idiotic ideas used them all up this morning

how about this we hold hands and skip like morons through a field of miscellaneous assortment of wildflowers

anyways thanks but no thanks on the offer for the virus i bet youve got too many on your hands and you are just dying to get rid of them

like dude is it a hot potato or a computer program youre tossin it around like you cant hold onto it and youre desperately trying to find to the next person to pass that flaming spud to

iive heard from tz that you are fond of piicture2 but the extent of your human fetii2h for them know2 liittle bound2.

iim goiing two have two decliine your offer of 2endiing me a piicture. all the 2pace iin my hiive for 2hiitty photograph2 of 2obbiing 2uppo2ed cool kiid2 wa2 taken up ju2t ye2terday.

but the chance of froliickiing iin a fiield wiith you wiill make up for iit e2peciially iif you are deathly allergiic two the2e flower2 that are wiild.

of cour2e iim goiing two giive you one of the 2hiitty viiru2e2 diid you thiink ii wa2 goiing two make one 2peciial for you that ii2 very conceiited e2peciially for a human.

you hit the nail right on the head when it comes to me and my photography complex it just rustles my jimmies in all the right ways

i thought youd never say yes to the field skipping now the excitement is seeping out my pores

good thing im not allergic to anything or else id miss some quality time with my favorite troll

dang i thought i was pretty special you sure did prove me wrong right there 

i thought youd use that great cranium of yours to develop a never before seen virus just for me that would blow my mind but i guess your coding skills arent up to par with what I thought what a shame

what ii2 iit wiith everybody and theiir extremely 2weaty pore2 ii2 thii2 2ome kiind of new trend or 2omethiing.

maybe your dii2gu2tiing human leakiing wiill miix wiith all the vegetatiion were joviially jauntiing through and create 2ome deadly poii2on that hopefully wiill wiipe everybody out 2o they wont have two put up wiith you anymore

my codiing 2kiill2 are beyond par. 2o gone from par that theyve ciircled around the planet and have hiit par twiice. double par. ii am the be2t there ii2 at code2.

iive wriitten all the code2. all of them.

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney:

coolkiddave:

[[FFFFFT I just chuckled a little bit that was good c: ]]

woah thats pretty harsh tears are now falling profusely down my cheeks from your bitter words

somebody snap a picture quick this sight is more breath taking than the niagra falls

stop me before i drown the whole earth with my weeping

((thanks! Yours are cracking me up. c: ))

alriight iive got my viiewport on you open and iim hiittiing 2creencaptiion and now thii2 moment iin tiime ha2 been captured forever.

all the later generatiion2 can marvel at the tear2 the eviil troll2 have forced from the moii2ture dii2po2al2 of 2uppo2ed cool kiid2.

are there any other reque2t2?

preferably one2 that arent completely iidiiotiic?

need 2ome viiru2 two blow up whatever 2ack of garbage you call a computer? iive got a few ii can 2pare for you.

[[haha! yeah this is really amusing. I really like the sarcasm going on, because it makes me laugh xDD ]]

thanks you should send it over cuz im planning to print this life size and hang it on my wall to forever remember this monumental occurrence

every day ill look over at it and be like damn who is that handsome fellow

oh wait its me

i know you want a copy ill make you one also itll be sure to spice up your life

sorry im fresh out of non idiotic ideas used them all up this morning

how about this we hold hands and skip like morons through a field of miscellaneous assortment of wildflowers

anyways thanks but no thanks on the offer for the virus i bet youve got too many on your hands and you are just dying to get rid of them

like dude is it a hot potato or a computer program youre tossin it around like you cant hold onto it and youre desperately trying to find to the next person to pass that flaming spud to

iive heard from tz that you are fond of piicture2 but the extent of your human fetii2h for them know2 liittle bound2.

iim goiing two have two decliine your offer of 2endiing me a piicture. all the 2pace iin my hiive for 2hiitty photograph2 of 2obbiing 2uppo2ed cool kiid2 wa2 taken up ju2t ye2terday.

but the chance of froliickiing iin a fiield wiith you wiill make up for iit e2peciially iif you are deathly allergiic two the2e flower2 that are wiild.

of cour2e iim goiing two giive you one of the 2hiitty viiru2e2 diid you thiink ii wa2 goiing two make one 2peciial for you that ii2 very conceiited e2peciially for a human.

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

[[FFFFFT I just chuckled a little bit that was good c: ]]

woah thats pretty harsh tears are now falling profusely down my cheeks from your bitter words

somebody snap a picture quick this sight is more breath taking than the niagra falls

stop me before i drown the whole earth with my weeping

((thanks! Yours are cracking me up. c: ))

alriight iive got my viiewport on you open and iim hiittiing 2creencaptiion and now thii2 moment iin tiime ha2 been captured forever.

all the later generatiion2 can marvel at the tear2 the eviil troll2 have forced from the moii2ture dii2po2al2 of 2uppo2ed cool kiid2.

are there any other reque2t2?

preferably one2 that arent completely iidiiotiic?

need 2ome viiru2 two blow up whatever 2ack of garbage you call a computer? iive got a few ii can 2pare for you.

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney:

coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney started following you

hey

hey sollux

i dare you to eat the mind honey

2ure let me ju2t follow the adviice of 2ome 2tupiid human liike an iignorant grub.

2crew you, 2triider.

no dude seriously i heard its good for your complexion

it could add some color to your monochromatic epidermis

chicks dig color trust me

okay here ii go doiing that thiing you 2ugge2ted.

puttiing the miind honey iintwo my mouth and 2wallowiing iit.

oh no iit turned me iinto an iin2ufferable priick named dave 2triider. my happy liife ii2 forever ruiined and ii wiill never be able two return two my former greatne22.

woe ii2 me for ii have 2uffered a great burn

(Source: zealliart, via zealliart)


coolkiddave:

mageofmiindhoney started following you

hey

hey sollux

i dare you to eat the mind honey

2ure let me ju2t follow the adviice of 2ome 2tupiid human liike an iignorant grub.

2crew you, 2triider.

(Source: zealliart)